Don’t you know what to wear?

3 ideas and one great coaching exercise for you

At least once a month it happens to all of us, even to the most elegant or easy-going ones, even to those with a wardrobe worthy of Carrie Bradshaw from Sex and the City, to SAY: OH MY GOD, I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO WEAR! It doesn’t depend on the quality or quantity of our wardrobe since we usually have more than what we really need. It doesn’t depend either on our body type: tall, short, skinny, curvy. We all cyclically pass through the tedious, fateful moment in which we exclaim in front of the closet: I HAVE NOTHING TO WEAR or I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO WEAR.

So, what is this about?

There are simply moments in which we don’t feel that beautiful, maybe we don’t like our hairstyle anymore or we just gained those two extra pounds (that we are the only one to see, of course, together with our best frenemies), or something went wrong in our lives and inevitably we get depressed. For these moments, I’ve got 3 EASY IDEAS and a great COACHING EXERCISE that personally helped me in the past. The exercise was taught me by the coach, trainer and close friend Daniel Vittori

Don’t you know what to wear?

1 Go to your hairdresser 

When you get the right haircut, you’re halfway there.

If you wanna feel great, you must start with your head. Literally. Hair is very important: a good CUT and COLOUR are fundamental. Forget any pastel tone, that may be nice just on teens. No pink, blue or purple shapes. I would limit the classics: copper, blonde, brown and black. Red is hard to wear, but if you have the right ruddiness, dare darling! Light points are essential to bring out the CUT which has to be GOOD of course. Long, short or bob there’s just one important thing: if YOU don’t feel ok, make a CHANGE. You have nothing to lose.

My hairstyle is pretty short. After thousands of years with long hair, I opted for a shortcut that, whatever they say, is much more difficult to wear than the long one (which you can always tie). If you go short a good haircut is a must have.

Non sai cosa indossare maria laura berlinguer - stile italiano - made in italy - italian style - fatto in italia - blog

Don’t you know what to wear?

It doesn’t depend on the quality or quantity of our wardrobe

2. A lifesaver outfit 

Think about what looks best on you, which mise (as we used to call it) or outfit (as we call it now) makes you feel more comfortable. It must be a sort of Linus blanket that you can bring with you for all seasons just with a few adjustments… Mine is a pair of jeans and a turtleneck sweater with short sleeves. Of course, in the summertime, it becomes a sleeveless or halter neck cotton T-shirt. Jeans are one of my favorite pieces. I wear them with sandals or ankle boots with a few heels: a must have for every woman that is actually good for the back, too. On special occasions, the higher heel doesn’t hurt. A well-cut pair of jeans is also suitable for dinner, paired with a male white shirt or a tuxedo jacket…

My favorite ones are dark blue with a high waist and slightly flare legs. Now that is autumn, I wear them with the famous short sleeves sweater and a tight coat.

3. Accessories 

Focus on the accessories and never underestimate their therapeutic power. A skilled Italian style strategist taught me the magic power of colors. And then… a nice scarf makes you look so, Grace Kelly!

Gloves, glasses, scarves, ringnecks, hats (if you like wearing them), bags, socks, rings, bracelets, earrings and, why not, a beautiful agenda that you can bring in your hand as a clutch bag. All these things revolving around your clothes contribute to make them special. Each of us has his own preferences. For example, I don’t wear hats because they give me headaches (unless it’s particularly cold outside) and I don’t use a lot of jewelry. I like to put a single ring and earrings as strategic light points: small pearls or diamonds strictly anti-allergic.

My favorite accessories are undoubtedly glasses, foulards (which I wear in summer, too) and scarves that give more energy to a total black look. I like gloves, too, the bit ‘long ones that you can wear with three-quarter sleeves sweaters. They make me feel very Breakfast at Tiffany’s. ?

4. Change your inner dialogue   

I always remember this suggestion by Daniel Vittori. It may seem crazy but trust me, IT WORKS! What’s the inner dialogue? English pedagogist and tennis teacher Tim Galleway calls it “The Inner Game”: he theorized it after realizing that some of his best athletes had worst performance during a match compared to those who were weaker from a technical and athletic point of view, but had a most EFFECTIVE “Inner Dialogue” or “Inner Game”.

The game is, therefore, a matter of “inner dialogue”. So when we say “I don’t know what to wear“, “I have nothing to wear“, etc. there’s a chemical reaction in our brain that installs a negative vicious cycle.

SOLUTION: stop doing it… go to the bathroom, lock up and, even though it may seem a weird thing to do, DO IT: put yourself in front of the mirror, raise your arms up as if you were exulting, smile and repeat the mantra “I’M BEAUTIFUL I’M BEAUTIFUL I’M BEAUTIFUL I’M BEAUTIFUL I’M BEAUTIFUL I’M BEAUTIFUL I’M BEAUTIFUL…”

Repeat it for three minutes.

If it makes you laugh… then laugh! But continue with this routine for three minutes. DON’T STOP.

When time is over, take the first thing you find in your wardrobe, get dressed and go out, you’ll be irresistible!

Maria Laura Berlinguer